Brats Blog

Where'd I'd rather be....

2008-05-16T18:50:00.000-07:00

Bonjour, my friends!

I am going to take you on a tour of the place I'd rather be right now. Only I'm not telling you where it is or anything about it. :P

Don't you put it in your mouth.

2008-04-11T17:23:00.001-07:00

I think this is just smart advice. Well done Canada!

An Ode to Chockylit!

2008-02-09T13:35:00.001-08:00

Bless you Chockylit! Bless you! I've been drooling over your recipes for some time now, and have been trying out a few of the ones that most peaked my interest. (I have only a million left to go...)

First up was the Horchata Cupcake Experiment

These were delicious - I think I'd make them more cinnamony (is that a word?) next round, but I really enjoyed them. I love Horchata and couldn't resist trying this out. Doesn't Horchata remind you of the milk left in your bowl after finishing up your Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

Next up were the very tasty Caramel Apple Cupcakes

They were so good, but absolute murder on my dental work. I have a facial implant for my front teeth, so I'm a bit more sensitive than most people. I eventually ended up taking the topping off and eating that separately. Very tasty!

and then there were the Cherry Vanilla Cupcakes

I didn't even get to try them!!! They were so beautiful and looked so good. I made them for a bake sale at Miss Alayna's school. Marty and Alayna dropped them off, and then went back to buy one 10 minutes later, but they were already gone!!! Good news for the bake sale, bad news for Alayna since she wanted one. I have promised though that I will make them again for her. =)

Methinks the next up will be the Pomegranate-Grapefruit Cupcakes (located on the same page as the Cherry Vanilla). I can't resist a pomegranate!

So thank you Chockylit for all of your wonderful work - and for making all those cupcakes!!!

I HEART YOU and I've never even met you!

Niki in the Garden

2008-01-30T16:56:00.000-08:00

Hello!
Here are some pictures I took when I went to the Garfield Park Conservatory to see Niki in the Garden. =) Which was wonderful! It's some of the wonderful art of Niki de Saint-Phalle, whom I adore! (These sculptures are what I based my tattoo on my right leg off of) So here we go!

This is a Skinny. I may have totally spelled that incorrectly, please forgive.

I will be putting up more from the outing, but Blogger is giving me a bit of guff. =) Come back soon!

New Place! =)

2007-07-11T16:34:00.001-07:00

Here is a view of the living room from the kitchen =) You can see there's a patio off of it and a wood burning fireplace. YAY!

Here's the living room from above - very prosh, no? This photo was actually taken from the master bedroom! If you are in the living room and look up, there's a half-wall that is the wall of the master bedroom... but more on that later!

I told you we'd talk about the master bedroom later... stop buggin me! Fine... let's walk upstairs!

Here we are in the master suite. Isn't that fancy? That window is above the staircase you just climbed. I took this picture from the vanity that is next to the master bathroom and the walk-in closet. On the left you can see the half-wall I was talking about before. =) Right before the wall is the door out to the ROOF DECK! (Can I get a heck yeah??)

I think Albert and Ernest will have a wonderful time soaking up the rays out here. =) No one can come by and mess with them either. Those will be some happy tortoises!

Yes - there are other rooms and other things to see.... but you can't see em just yet. You'll have to come and visit! Move in day is this Saturday!!! (Please help!)

New! =)

2007-02-11T11:55:00.000-08:00

So it looks like I'm going to start myself a wee food blog.... where I'll show you pictures of the recipes I'm making - give them a rating and tell you what I'd change. (You will of course also hear what book it's coming from).

Look for it soon as Brat Bites Back

Sometimes it takes me awhile to do things... Shaddup about it already!

2007-02-01T22:27:00.000-08:00

It's usually better not to ask why....

A- Available or single?

That's the same thing.... and neither.

B- Best Friend?

You. :)

C- Cake or Pie?

Pie

D- Drink of Choice?

Jack and coke - or coffee for the non-alcoholic

E- Essential Item?

Blistex. :)

F- Favorite Color?

Purple

G- Gummi Bears or Worms?

Worms

H- Hometown?

Orland Park or Chicago Ridge or Naperville... I dunno.

I- Indulgence?

A really expensive cheese.

J- January or February?

February.

K- Kids and names?

Alfred and Nora

L- Life is incomplete without?

Friends

M- Marriage Date?

nope

N- Number of Siblings?

One - Courtney =)

O- Oranges or apples?

Clementines!

P- Phobias/Fears?

Spiders and clowns and puppets. Gah. Puppet spider clowns are right out!!!

Q- Favorite Quote?

"If you're going through hell - keep going." ~Winston Churchill

R- Reason to Smile?

Ben

S- Season?

Summer

T- Tag three people!

But I can't run.... I'm asthmatic you jerk.

U- Unkown Fact About Me?

Um.... I dunno.

V- Vegetable you hate?

I don't think there is such a thing.

W- Worst habit?

Saying stupid stuff when I get mad.... things I don't even remotely mean and aren't even near to being true. I just can't stop myself when I'm mad.

X- X-Rays you've had?
Ankle, neck, chest.... I think that's it...?

Y- Your favorite food?

Cheese!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Z- Zodiac?

Leo

I suck

2007-01-30T22:21:00.000-08:00

Sorry I'm a lazy butt blogger lately... I hope to make it up to you by providing some pretty pictures!

Me and Pug! =)

Me and Mr. Vandemar (who is far lazier at blogging than I... but his computer is broken, so I can't blame him... but I can at least point it out to distract you for a moment... LOOK AT HIM!! Get the pitchforks!!! He is the one who is lazy!)

Mr. Vandemar and Forever Tick... (Another lazy one... his xbox 360 does more blogging than he does!)

I honestly don't understand why they don't blog more.... They must be very busy doing very important things...

And the laziest blogger of them all??

That's right... Ben!!! I've never seen a blog entry from that kid!!!

"But Brat - he can't read."

"I've had enough of your excuses!!! I want solutions - not more reasons we have problems. Now go - teach him to read and to type and don't let me hear you say 'can't' again!"

And so I'm not just ragging on people for being lazy, here's a photo I took that I really like. I call it my Little Zen Photo

Food

2006-10-18T20:14:00.000-07:00

I’d never make it as a food critic.

I love reading about food, eating food, thinking about food and making food. I bake multiple times a week and have to routinely switch where I bring my baked goods to avoid hearing the groans, “Claire – stop! You’ll make me fat!”

This evening I came to the conclusion that I obsess about food and bake so often because I like to have control over something. Whipping egg whites until they are at the exact moment before disaster strikes and they become over-inflated and tasteless does not require a lot. It doesn’t give me a mad scientist feel or cause me to have a God complex. It’s the sexiest of dances.

For almost all people that I know, the fondest of memories involve food. Think back on a pleasant time in your life and chances are it involves a meal of some type. Is it a Thanksgiving dinner, a Christmas Eve feast, Easter dinner, or brunch with friends? Food, to be Hallmark greetingcardish, brings people together and is the great connective tissue that binds us all as human beings.

Food is show, food is theatre! At a wedding I attended recently (congrats Adam and Anne Marie!) I had a discussion with another guest who shared a passion for food and acting (one of my other great passions) and we talked about how it isn’t much of a jump from acting into the culinary arts. The creativity and care put into both acting a food is eerily similar.

To say again, food is show, food is theatre! What family do you know that doesn’t show off with their food at Thanksgiving? They bring out their time-tested recipes and the fanciest ones, and welcome you into their home and want you to have their food. To share what they have, to share in their wealth of that day. There is always way too much food and I do not think it is accidental. Those that don’t understand how seductive and beautiful food is have never read Ruth Reichl. Anyone who has read her books dance inside her past and can taste what she tastes.

“But while cooking demands your entire attention, it also rewards you with endlessly sensual pleasures. The sound of water skittering across leaves of lettuce. The thump of the knife against watermelon, and the cool summer scent the fruit releases as it falls open to reveal its deep red heart. The seductive softness of chocolate beginning to melt from solid to liquid. The tug of sauce against the spoon when it thickens in the pan, and the lovely lightness of Parmesan drifting from the grater in gossamer flakes. Time slows down in the kitchen, offering up an entire universe of small satisfactions.”

Read that and tell me food isn’t sexy.

Food is my memory. I use it to remember my family. I can’t eat Perogi without thinking of being covered in flour, standing on a chair so that I could reach the counter top to help my grandmother drop the uncooked Perogi into a pot of boiling water. Watching them until the floated to the surface, their edges sealed by my small hands pressing a fork repeatedly in a slow and deliberate pattern. I’m sure I bit my bottom lip or partially stuck out my tongue in concentration as I worked so hard to show Busha that I could help her.

Thinking Busha draws up ghosts of a thousand meals from the dusty corners of my brain. Chocolate peanut butter candy, Ribs, Perogi, pancakes, pixies, ham salad sandwiches and Mrs. Grass chicken noodle soup.

Jenny is New England clam chowder and rice.

Courtney is egg burritos – which only come by that name because I lacked the ability to turn eggs over completely and they always looked like burritos.

Mom is baked goods.

Dad is sandwiches and tomato rice soup.

Justin is tacos and bananas and pancakes too!

Why is making food sexy? Why is it to me that watching a knife make small work of a bunch of celery has more meaning than sitting in church?

Why is it that I couldn’t be a food critic? I certainly have a passion for food and the will to try everything put in front of me…. I couldn’t do it because it all means so much to me. I have seldom come across food that I would send back. Someone made that just for me! I enjoy eating at Taco Bell (gasp!) Burger King, McDonalds, Wendy’s, Arby’s and Portillo’s. I connect with that food and the memories that each of those places gives me. I connect with it as food of the masses! I can’t cast those places aside and eat only at places like Tru. (Although please don’t get me wrong, I’d love to go to Tru.) But I will never make it as a food critic because .. .

I enjoy it all.

All is full of love

2006-09-06T20:14:00.000-07:00

When I'm away from him I think.... he's so cute.... and then I see photos and I think, "my god... I didn't remember him as THAT CUTE! How could I have forgotten?!?"

It can be said of me that I absolutely love my godson. And you can see why.

I'm terribly in love.

Book Meme

2006-08-23T16:08:00.000-07:00

1. One Book That Changed Your Life:
Let's see... Thanks Puggle for tagging me with the most impossible post to keep short you harpie!!! A book that changed my life would have to be "Drawing Down the Moon". I remember researching various religions during high school and finally going THERE IT IS. Thank you.

2. One Book That You've Read More Than Once:
I reread the Chronicles of Narnia at least once a year. I love to read "Little Women" randomly.

3. One Book You'd Want on a Desert Island:
"lamb" by Christopher Moore

4. One Book That Made You Laugh: see above

5. One Book That Made You Cry:
"where the red fern grows" oh god I'm crying just thinking about it.

6. One Book That You Wish Had Been Written:
"being a human being - a handbook"

7. One Book That You Wish Had Never Been Written:
"lovely bones" what a waste of time.

8. The Book That You Are Currently Reading:
"the areas of my expertise"

9. One Book That You've Been Meaning to Read:
"war and peace"

10. Your Favorite Guilty Pleasure Book(s):
sometimes I reread the babysitter's club books. just in case I need to talk to one of the young cousins. Shut up about it.

There
kept it short
take that

Meat-Tastic!

2006-07-13T17:40:00.000-07:00

So I gone done it
I finally came to a point where I was so nutrient deprived and yicky that I decided it was time to eat some meat. Thinking back on it... I haven't eaten meat since 1995 or 1996...

Reasons why I thought this was a good decision...

1) I wasn't doing it for moral reasons, but because I made a bet with my sister back in the day that I could be a vegetarian longer than her.... she lasted what, a day? I WIN!!!!
2) If I do end up going to culinary school, I will have to take an entire section on butchering.... and I don't know how well that could have gone.
3) Also thinking on culinary school - how can I tell someone the dish is good if I myself haven't tasted it?

So.... MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTT!

I've gone a bit meat crazy in the past few days
I started with a ham sandwich
I was so sick I wanted to die
The next day I thought, why the heck not... some beef with brocolli
Then for lunch today a pulled pork sandwich
I still have many meats to tackle before my checklist is complete...

the gyro is coming up
as is chicken
and turkey
and anything that will stand still long enough for me to eat it....

BRING IT

and now people having way too much fun with their food in a photo called "meat fashion"

Introducing . . .

2006-07-06T17:18:00.000-07:00

The most wonderfulest child to have ever lived
Benjamin Xavier
Born : June 29, 2006
19 inches long
7lb 12 oz
to Marty and Courtney who are very happy happy happy!

and oh yeah who loves you enough to knit you that fancy blanket?? AUNTIE CLAIRE!!! (Soon to be Aunt AAARRRRRRRRRRRR the Pirate Queen or ye'll be walking the plank)

Bits and Pieces

2006-06-11T11:41:00.000-07:00

Kind of like a meme, but one on the fly and without any rhyme of reason.

Random thing about me #1 - Whenever I eat pancakes I feel like I'm choking (no matter how slowly I eat) but they are my favorite breakfast food so I eat em anyway.

Random thing about me #2 - I write in the margins of my favorite books. I highlight the passages that stick out. I seek out books in the 25 cent bin of the library that have highlighting and notes so I can see what other people noticed. I shouldn't be allowed to borrow other people's books because I really want to write in theirs too, so instead I am forced to leave notecards inside of them.

Random thing about me #3 - my nose has very little cartilage in it. I can smoosh it and fold it in half, but seldom do it because it looks pretty gross.

Random thing about me #4 - if I love a song, I will listen to it on repeat for hours until I have the words memorized and I can pick out all the instruments.

Random thing about me #5 - I have been known to cry over a good song.

Random thing about me #6 - I have been known to cry over a bad song. (Please don't ever play "The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News ... that one really gets me.

Random thing about me #7 - I love the smell of vanilla and oranges (I've been known to wear vanilla extract behind my ears but stopped because it was a little strange even for me). Closely following is the scent given off on a really hot day after it rains on the sidewalks. Hot concrete makes a wonderful smell when hit with a raindrop or two.

Random thing about me #8 - I love my family and friends fiercly and once I love you I'll do anything for you. I am however a number 4 on the enneagram (a romantic) and once you have done something to lose my trust you do not get it back. Perhaps not the best way to operate, but I didn't say I was perfect.

Random thing about me #9 - I used to love the book "matilda" by Dahl. I would sit and try to move things for hours at a time with my mind. I never got it to work, but I got some fantastic headaches and know fully what the smell of burning brain is like.

Random thing about me #10 - I am overjoyed to be becoming an Aunt. I think I'll make an excellent crazy Aunt Claire. I am also extremely happy to be someone's sister in law. I could not be happier to have Marty be a part of our family because he is the meow of the cat. =)

Random thing about me #11 - I used to be terribly hurt each time someone called me "weird". I then grew up and realized that I enjoy being weird, but have set my goals at one day being called eccentric, cuz that's just weird with money. =P

Random thing about me #12 - My favorite number is 3

Random thing about me #13 - I love cheese. I spend way too much time at the grocery store looking at the fancy cheeses and talking myself out of buying them. As I told some of you, I could spend the rest of my life eating crusty bread with cheeses, toasted with tomatoes with a tiny bit of salt on them. A glass of wine and HUZZAH!

Random thing about me #14 - I like very simplistic music - the fewer instruments the better.

Random thing about me #15 - I have a recurring nightmare where I get chased around a library by a clay-mation (the ragman from the Nutcracker fantasy... he turnes children who aren't in bed asleep when they are supposed to be into mice and puts them in his bag and runs off with them). I had ansomnia at a young age so the idea that not going to sleep would cause me to be taken from my family was scary!!!

Random thing about me #16 - I want to do so many different things that I have no idea which one to pick. I want to do voice-overs for cartoons, I want to be a pastry chef, I want to be an olympic gold medalist in diving (but I'm past my prime) and I want to have millions attend my concerts. However not that many people can fit into my car nor could they fit into the shower. (And I really don't want a million people in my shower either)

Random thing about me #17 - I enjoy junk. This includes junk food, junk books and junk music.

Random thing about me #18 - When I was little I wanted to be Jo March from Little Women. There was something oddly satisfying about donating my hair a few years back. I imagined everyone was gasping with shock after I took off my bonnet even though I had no bonnet... and it wasn't for trainfare for my mother so she could see my father who had been injured during the civil war... I also can't help but eat apples and cheese when I read Little Women. I also like to wear a hat when I write because I feel a little bit more Jo March-ish.

Random thing about me #19 - I try very hard to listen to what people say they like so I can give them things they really want for Christmas or Birthdays or whenever. I actually keep a running list in a book.

Random thoughts on my friends

Courtney - I love that face you make when someone teases you... the little nose scrunch. It always makes me giggle.
Marty - You are one of those fantastic people that automatically felt comfortable to be around even in silence.
Jenny - I love your cackle and your toes.
Justin - All the things about you sum up a person who all in all is one of the best people I have ever met. You have a wonderful laugh. =)
Mike - you have the BEST VOICE ever! I confess I want to hear you sing "MMmmm MMmmm MMmmm Mmmmm" or something else really low. Even when you talk there is such a songlike quality to your speech that makes me want to ask you questions just to hear you talk.
Caryn - When I think of you I automatically associate the color blue with you. Light blue (cornflower). I don't know why this is. I have been so happy to have gotten to know you this year!!! =)
Josh R - Oh mylanta! I'm always so happy to see you. (hence the cheering and clapping each Tuesday when you appear) You have one of the most fantastic smiles!
Dr. J. - I am ridiculously proud of you. I love how freakin feisty you are. I find myself waiting for you to talk because I know it's gonna be good.
Kaitlin - I think that you are honestly one of the most drop dead gorgeous people I've ever met. I'm not sexually harassing you I swear! :P I love playing office with you and have really enjoyed seeing you almost every day. =D
Josh P. - I love having a seafood buddy. =) You are also one of those people that cause me to have diarrhea of the mouth (lovely visual... sorry) that causes me to later think "what the hell caused me to talk so much" later. I also love that you wink at people.
Steve - I'm always on my toes when I'm around you! You tend to surprise me with the things that you say, but in a good way. =)
Elsa - Your unending love of your pets is endearing. Anyone who loves their pets enough to cook or bake for them is good people in my book. =D
Sarah - you take some damn fine photos! I love how much your causes mean to you and how that makes them causes to other people. =) I miss you! I think you are also a wonderful mother and you made a beautiful kid. (I LOVE THAT SHE LOVES TO EAT LEMONS!!!!!!!)

Wow... did I just say all that??????

Today I am Free!

2006-06-04T10:30:00.000-07:00

My dear dear friends,
Today I grew the biggest set of brass ones. I went to the jail to see John and to tell him what I think of him and what he has done to us all. It hurt so much to see him, but I needed to see bad John so I could remember that he is bad. This is the first time I've seen him since all of this happened (other than in the papers). I told him how much I hate him for what he has done. I told him that he made me a victim, but that he doesn't get to keep me there because I refuse to stay one. The very last things I told him were to

1) leave my family alone so we can all move on with our lives (this includes his family too)
2) I hate him and he makes me angry
3) He owes my family an apology and I won't do it for him. It's up to him to do it and they can listen if they choose to do so.
4) I am keeping his electronics and dvd's and cd's and everything that is within the possession of my family. I am selling it. Either that or he could choose to let me sue him and come after him with all I have. He chose the first option.
5) I told him to get a public defender and stop f@#$ing up his parents lives.

I am free. I am feisty.

I feel myself change more and more each day and know that there are other forces keeping me going. My chest is sometimes on fire from so much energy but it is good. I love you all. Let's have some fun now. =)

Frickin' Frackin' Freya Friday Folks!

2006-06-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Now dear readers I know you have come here expecting to have your usual Swedish lesson, but this week I thought maybe you would like to learn about Scandanavian culture. =) This is when I look back at the wonderful things the Swedes have done (Ikea... and ass kicking)and come to an understanding as to why I am the way that I am... ;) Here's a little bit of Norse Mythology for you involving my favorite Giantess, Skadhi!

Skadhi - Skadhi was the daughter of the giant Thjazi (Thjassi), who blackmailed Loki into using his cunning to deliver the Goddess Iduna and her apples of youth into his power. During the subsequent rescue of Iduna, Thjazi was killed by the Aesir. Skadhi, wearing full armor, marched into Asgard to demand wergild - the blood price exacted by Norse law for killing a man. She scorned the Aesir's offer of money, claiming she had plenty of gold in father's home back in Jotunheim. She wanted only two things: One of the gods must become her husband, and someone must make her laugh, some thing she claimed she had not done since the death of her father. Loki took care of the second part by tying the beard of one of Thor's goats to his testicles and capering around the high hall of Asgard, finally collapsing onto Skadhi's lap. Even a giantess could not resist this, so it seems. As for the other demand, the Aesir agreed to grant Skadhi a husband, but she had to pick him out by viewing only his feet. Skadhi had a notion to marry Balder, and she figured that since he was the most beautiful of the gods, he must have beautiful feet. She was somewhat disappointed to find out the feet she picked belonged to the sea god, Njördhr, the father of Freyr and Freyja, whose feet were particularly white and beautiful from his constant walking through the sea and sand.

Yeeeeehaw! I must keep these method of;
1) choosing a marriage partner
and
2) things to do on a Friday night when you need a giggle in mind. =)

I have plenty of goats at my beck and call! Come Lingonberry, let us go forth and entertain the peoples!

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

2006-05-26T13:35:00.000-07:00

As of this moment I can breathe out a big sigh of relief. All of my tests so far have come back negative for diseases. =) Now I'm getting in the pool with a margarita!

Thorsday!

2006-05-25T16:56:00.000-07:00

The continuation of Wasa Wednesday...

Vem ar det som dansar?
Who's dancing??

Hon ar tre ar och han ar arton manader.
She's 3, and he's 18 months. (mighty specific don't you think?)

Finns det en gayklubb?
Is there gay club?

Ar strander stangig?
Is the beach pebbly?

De ar obekvama.
They're uncomfortable.

Vill du komma hem med mig?
Would you like to come home with me?
(what the heck are you in Sweden for you tramp!)

Kan du lamna mig ifred, tack!
Leave me alone, please!

That's all the Svenska for this week - tune in again next week for more fun with Swedish!!!

WOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-05-24T05:58:00.000-07:00

GO GET EM DR. JAMMERZ!!! Take that pink fuzzy pen and clip board and go kick some butt!!!!! I know you can do it! =)

It's the little things . . .

2006-05-22T16:42:00.000-07:00

I have learned a few things over the past few weeks. . . Some are things that I already "knew" but didn't quite understand fully until now. Forgive me cuz I'm 'bout to get mushy on yo arses.

1) It's the little things that really matter - like finding this picture in my sent email folder. I thought it was lost to me when the computers were taken, but I have been blessed enough to be able to see

my Grandfather again

2) No matter how much one person hurts me there are always people that will help to stand me up again and remind me that the whole world isn't full of ONE person. (No matter how ugly one thing is, there is still beauty left to be seen)

3) Friends are the most beautiful people in the world. (And family counts as friends here too!!!!)

4) Tears stop eventually

5) I'm a lot stronger of a person than I thought I was.

6) Laughter really is the best medicine.

7) A hug is stronger than super glue.

8) Family is wonderful to be around. (People unrelated to you can truly be your sisters and brothers.)

9) Sorry doesn't cut it.

10) Sunlight always comes back.

In truth, these things aren't "little" per say, but you know what I mean. =) Thank you all for being my friends, being my family and taking care of me when I didn't know how to take care of myself.

So Many Avatars

2006-05-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

I have an obsession now with creating avatars. Such is the life of a shut-in. Here are a few of them from my many random email accounts

Beatnik Fae

Girl that is way better at dressing than me!

and finally... the one I am most comfy with and how I am most likely to be seen in the real world... WITH JEANS!!! Precious JEANS!! =D You can all attest to the fact that I am not a snazzy dresser and hell if my hair ever looks good. (Except there was a nice streak in early March where things were looking good in the hairs!)

"Ping Pong the Album
Coined at a Cabaret
Futuristic vaudvillians thanks for pressing play!
Futuristic vaudvillians thanks for pressing play!
Ping Pong, Hong Kong, King Kong, Sing Song.
Please put on your avatar mask our game is under way.
Please put on your avatar mask our game is under way!"

--- Momus

Fun times with Swedish!

2006-05-17T06:09:00.000-07:00

The Beginning of Wasa Wednesday!!!

As some of you may know, I am trying to learn Swedish... why? Well, I am not sure! It just sounds very funny to me so of course I have to try to learn it - it is a moral imperitive. (Learn English first maybe?)

My Swedish phrasebooks are next to useless though... In not ONE of them (I have 4) have I found the way to say "What is the word for," or "How do you say" and I think those are pretty useful when starting off in a new language.

I will start you off with a few of my favorite phrases and as I find more I intend to share them with you so we can learn together! Here are the phrases I have found that Berlitz seems to think will come in handy when traveling to Sweden;

Rokare eller icke-rokare? - Smoking or non-smoking?

Var kan jag fa tag pa butangas? - Where can I get some butane gas?

Hur ar pollenhalten? - What's the pollen count?

Ar min svenska sa dalig? - Is my Swedish that bad? (I should really memorize that one)

Ni har en konssjukdom - You have veneral disease.

Kan ni reparera den har tandprotesen? - Can you repair this denture?

Until Next time... just make a bork bork bork noise to practice. =D

Bouquets!

2006-05-03T17:12:00.000-07:00

Lately I have really been enjoying making bouquets. I've not really created them before, but I saw this little thing on Barefoot Contessa that made it sound really easy, and it is!!! She recommended that you use all the same color flowers (and I have before) and make them all the same height and then cut the stems... easy peezy!

Flossie's Adventures in Film Noir

2006-05-01T19:32:00.000-07:00

Isn't it funny how simply adding a flash or changing the shutter speed on your camera can make a HUGE difference in your photo taking.... for example her is an ominous cow (on a ping pong table for "unknown reasons")

here is the same cow with a far less ominous spin to his looks...

but still the same cow in the same horribly netty situation it's just an example of how one thing can change your entire outlook...

Flossie's adventures in Film Noir or, Flossies goes for a stroll outside the pasture and meets a gigantic ping pong ball... your choice.

Threatening messages from Esser Hayes!

2006-04-28T22:42:00.000-07:00

HAHAHA - this message was in my inbox today , reminding me that I need to keep the people satisfied - the names have been removed to protect the innocent... (the innocent in this case being Josh Polak)

So, like, you’re too good to update your blog once in a while?

Think that we can all just reread the Billy Ward story and be satisfied with that?

Jenny may not be on the ball every day, but at least I’ve had some periodic playful pug picture perusal to pass the time.

Hope you and John are doing well,

Unsatisfied blog reader #442

Well my darling blog reader (since there is only one reader out there) here is something new! And here, as our free gift to you, is a photo I took on Earth Day of some Crab Apple Blossoms. =D The first one has the focus on the blossoms furthest away.

And with the focus on the closest blossom....

Claire versus Ogden Avenue - Confessions of a VERY angry driver

2006-03-24T19:20:00.000-08:00

Each day is a test.
A test of my patience!!!!
You see I have a never-ending quest to avoid the black pit of despair that is Ogden Avenue.... There is a point on Ogden (Ogden and Aurora Avenue) that I lovingly refer to as "The Clusterf@#$ of Stupidity". If I am forced to drive on that corner, it is an absolute guarantee that I will NOT arrive at my destination a happy camper. Something about Ogden causes people to forget how to drive. In fact I will go miles out of my way just to avoid it - but if you people would only follow these simple instructions I wouldn't have to.

This is the way I want driving to be...
If you are out for a pleasure cruise, or are running some errands or going someplace that you don't really have to go - don't go out during any of the rush hours. Don't do it. No really, don't. You may come out on Sundays only in fact. The rest of the week give your car to someone who deserves it. Don't stop to get gas, don't wave to your neighbor, don't take that turn at a speed that is considered "cautious". I want focused drivers only during this time. If you are a lazy accelerator, you are also not allowed out during rush hours. Stay home. Put in some extra hours at work. Take up a new hobby! from 5 am to 9 am and again from 3:30 pm until 7:30 pm you are not to be on the roads. In fact, you could use a walk, but only up and down the hallway of your house - not at any place where traffic could be slowed waiting for you to cross the street.

Waiting at the red light -
Drivers I want you tapping the steering wheel - don't even glance at the radio - buy yourself an iPod and make a playlist that is only for rush hour driving. FOCUS. Rev that engine. Snort and stamp like racehorses if you want but don't lose focus. I want it to be like the goddamned indy 500, each of us fighting to get off the line first even if it only ends up that we get to the next red light faster. Now is not the time for gradual breaking either. LAST MINUTE!!! Don't break if you see a cop car - he already saw you and it's too late - and chances are, he'd fly by you anyway.

Do not think that because someone has a Beetle that they are nice or that they are ok with you driving like a crapshack. The amount of people that cut us off every day and think it is all right are precisely WHY I started being so angry. She has a beetle, she must be very fun. I AM FUN but keep your stupid SUV both off of my car's butt and you do not get to cut in front of me. NO. I can't see around you, and you must have kids to need that kind of space.... kids... oh you are running errands while they are at soccer practice... REMEMBER you don't have any business being on the road during rush hour!!! I told you that before. You run the errands while they are at school jackass, but not during off-limits.

And finally perhaps the most important point of all ---- you do not need to be on the phone. If you don't know where you are going, you don't belong out at rush hour! If you are calling to find out what to pick up for dinner - that counts as an errand and therefor is also not allowed. If there is an ax murderer in your car I'm sorry but you are a goner. If I catch you on the phone I am going to take it and run it over myself, and I will follow you home to get it from you!

Let this be a lesson to you.

Oh God Help Me!!!

2006-02-14T00:27:00.000-08:00

It's 2:30 AM and I can't sleep... What to do, what to do? I know.... I'll make a GIANT COMPILATION of 80s music... BWAHAHA! I'm up to 77 tracks and that was with the first glance - I'll go back later and add in the random stuff off of the more obscure stuff I have. Oh yeah!

A Post I stole from Jenny

2006-01-25T12:07:00.000-08:00

What were you doing ten years ago?

That would have been January of 1996. Hell if I know.... Counting down the moments until I could legally drive my dad's super rockin Geo Metro? Drawing things all over my hideous uniform skirt? Playing in the band, ditching choir to drink coffee and smoke cigarettes at the Green Trails Restaurant...

What were you doing one year ago?

January 2005. I was up in Northern Wisconsin saying goodbye to my grandmother before she passed on. This was when I also made the decision that I was moving back to Illinois and I had to find a way to convince John to come with. :)

Five snacks you enjoy
Fruit
Veggies
Popcorn
Peanuts
Macadamia Nuts

Five songs to which you know all the lyrics
I Will - The Beatles
The Trolley Song - Judy Garland
Me and Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
Rockin the Suburbs - Ben Folds
P.S. You Rock My World - The Eels

Five things you would do if you were a millionaire.
start my own business
pay off my car and get another one
buy a house
throw a big party
travel

Five bad habits.
nail biting
getting angry too easily
inability to accept compliments
fidgety
stubborn

Five things you like doing
CRAFTS!!!!
reading
drinking coffee
sleeping
snuggling the pug dog
(HAHAHAHA I like all these things!)

Five things you would never wear or buy again.
strapless bras
heels (fall down go BOOM!)
poet blouse (i don't care if they come back.... they make people look like pirates)
shrug (get a real shirt ya weirdo)
anything other than starbucks coffee or jenny will hurt me

Five favorite toys.
flarp
iPod
my hematite pendulum (although technically it's NOT a toy)
ball in a cup (just kidding... ball in a cup isn't fun at all)
Bonnie Beth Bear
Those paper fortune thingie with the flaps. Those are fun!

sigh of relief

2006-01-22T10:53:00.000-08:00

Today I can let out a HUGE sigh of relief... for the moment.... Today is a WONDERFUL day! I finally finished my Thank You cards from our engagement party (held in August!!!). Before you judge me and mock me for having taken so long to finish the cards please take the following into consideration; we lost the list. Somewhere in the great transporting of all of the wonderful gifts from my parent's home to our apartment the list of who gave us what was lost and the cards were buried god knows where. Yesterday ended the great spring cleaning (and yes I will clean again in spring) and I finally found at least the cards. Between staring back and forth from the gifts to the cards I managed to piece together who gave us what. Now there are a few things that I am still unsure about... I have 3 cards sitting here and I have no idea what the giver gave, and the idea of saying "your generous gift" again makes me feel queasy. (then there was that other gift that I was totally unsure of what exactly it was, but I thought it was very pretty!) Oh heck I don't know why you people allow me out into society.....

Argh!!!!

2006-01-21T08:36:00.000-08:00

I hate the lint-trap on the dryer... It's about ____________ this big and spits lint all over the place if you don't empty it every five seconds. :P

Walking in a winter wonderland

2005-12-17T23:42:00.000-08:00

Reading everybody's posts about Christmas has really made me think about what my family does each year and just of my memories associated with the season. I fight every Christmas Eve to open one present (and then attempt to get my family to allow me to open more!) and we have our English dinner; roast beef, yorkshire pudding, trifle and we have those fun crackers and get to wear paper crowns. My mother tortures us by making us watch "The Night They Saved Christmas" (Which is an AWFUL movie) and we all drink a bit too much of something but stay nice.

When I was little, one Uncle would be forced to distract all the children, so he usually took us for a drive around town to watch for Santa's sleigh flying through the night sky. Every single radio tower was pointed at and the blinking red lights glowing atop the towers were of course, Rudolph's nose. When we arrived home all the presents were out and the folks that stay home would say, "Oh, you just missed Santa!" One year Aunt Patti took a picture of a glove falling down the chimney to prove Santa had been there. :)

My sister does a dance to "All I want for Christmas is You" by Mariah Carey -- several years back the dance ended in the splits and then she couldn't get up.

When we were small, Courtney and I would have on our little flannel nightgowns and we'd stand over the heating vents in the floor, trying to keep our legs warm and laughing as the nightgowns puffed out and made us look like marshmallows. We'd always help our mom make Peanutbutter Blossoms, which are those cookies with the hershey's kiss in the center - Courtney was so excited when she was very tiny about the cookies and ended up burning a tiny moustache on her face when she leaned onto the cookie sheet before it had cooled down.

One of my favorite winter pasttimes is to lay on the couch and watch the snow falling - when it is dark outside, staring at a street lamp as the flakes float to the ground is one of the most peaceful things to do. Some Christmas music, a mug of apple cider, a fire in the fireplace, some very comfortable pajamas, a giant poofy blanket, a cat curled up on your belly and the snow falling is without a doubt some of the best things in life.

Thanks for coming out here with me John, oh California boy. I'm glad you get to see what I've seen almost my entire life. I hope you love it as much as I do.

YOU PURL 2 YOU HARPIE!!!

2005-12-14T11:49:00.000-08:00

Yes, Jenny and I do love to craft. I like things that I melt and then throw some crud in and then pour it into something else. I'm good at melting things - I can microwave with the best of them. I CANNOT however learn to do things from Ikea-like instructions with little cartoon images showing you how to do things. I can't learn that way. I can't learn from a book... So WHY(?!?!?!) did I decide that I could? I picked up a little kit for making a scarf (which was some knitting needles, two things of red yarn and a cardboard sheet that has pictures of someone with a higher magnitude of dexterity making a magnificent scarf for someone. Oh it looks lovely on the cardboard!!! (The jerks) but what I have in my hands isn't anything like it... I can't even "cast-on" -- Which to me sounds like a nautical term... Cast-on mateys, I like the cut of yer jib!!! I have some mangled knots that somehow keep including my hands which I don't think anyone expects to have in their scarf. Now I'm sitting here, frustrated, looking like Pigpen with yarn replacing the dust and ready to give the cats a brand new yarn ball. Why did I think I could make a scarf?!?!?!

Where'd ya go?

2005-12-11T13:35:00.000-08:00

I awoke at around 12:30 AM from a nightmare, to find John sitting at the computer. I was so resless and he thought he was keeping me up, so he went to the front room. After trying to sleep for another 45 minutes, I went to go talk to John and THERE WAS NO JOHN!!! No John in the living room, dining room, kitchen, bathroom, closets or hallway. (ha! I just made my apartment sound huge when it's not) I peeked out the blinds to see if maybe he'd gone out and lo and behold - there he was outside. Who is outside at this early hour of the morning?! Well, John is.... all alone. What is he doing?!?! He was scraping all the snow off of my car so I wouldn't have to get up super early. I didn't ask him to, I even had the alarm set to get up to do it... But dang. I think that's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Things like this terrify me

2005-12-09T01:10:00.000-08:00

With John traveling so much, it's hard for me to hear about crud like THIS
http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/12/09/chicago.airplane/
and not freak out. Think about that... just driving home from work and BAM here comes an airplane... um you aren't supposed to use the expressway!

It helps if I remember to do both tests. :S

2005-12-07T15:07:00.000-08:00

You will be sucked dry by a leech. I'd stay away
from swimming holes, and stick to good old
cement. Even if it does hurt like hell when
your toe scrapes the bottom.

What horrible Edward Gorey Death will you die?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh goody, I get to go swimming in the cement pond.

What color should your hair be!?

2005-12-06T14:38:00.000-08:00

Your Hair Should Be Orange

Expressive, deep, and one of a kind.
You pull off "weird" well - hardly anyone notices.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Oddly enough, my hair has never been orange... everything else though!

I as well adore Edward Gorey.

2005-12-06T14:00:00.000-08:00

The GashlyCrumb Tinies - You have a terribly wicked
sense of humour and people are drawn to your
wit. Children beware of the thin, pale man
with the black umbrella!

Which Edward Gorey Book Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Adventures in the U.S. Healthcare System

2005-12-06T12:25:00.000-08:00

I know that it has become much better than it is in previous years, but sometimes I think that making the hospital look nice does not make up for behavior on the part of doctors and nurses. A flower vase, and some wood paneling doesn't help mirage the fact that the doctor doesn't want to be there and hell if he wants to really help you if you have no insurance. This however does not mean that just because you feel like dog poo that you can't have any fun. (HECK NO! You can have LOTS of fun in a hospital!)
I went in to the emergency room since I have been sick for a month and nothing seems to be helping me to completely recover, in fact the things that are "helping me" are making me feel worse. The steroids given to me to open up my airways actually burnt my dang stomach and caused my esophagus to have spasms where I felt like my throat was trying to escape! I arrive at the ER with my fiance John, and my mother and father meet us there. I never quite know if i'm supposed to do all the talking or let my mom do it for me, so we spent some time looking back and forth at each other in between sentence trade-offs. They took us all back and did the temp, blood pressure history jibberjabber and then took me to a room where I got to switch from my lovely warm clothing for a threadbare hospital gown that was, shall we say, BREEZY?!
Moments later we were introduced to Dennis the fantastic nurse who asked many questions and then we were interrupted by the doctor. So there I sat on that stupid table thing, leaning forward while Dennis AND the doctor listened to my lungs through stethoscopes. (Yes, both of them had a listen at the same time, one on either side of me) The doctor seemed bored and gave me some novacaine and some antacids to calm down my stomach and my throat. Then he sent me off to x-ray via Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, or so I believe. The Lab Tech bumped into every door and I don't think she understood a word I said. She did enjoy my nose ring though. I stood in a variety of peculiar positions so they could take an X-Ray of my throat and then back on to the magic carpet to return to my room, or so I thought. The Lab tech rolled me into the hall and then forgot where she was going. She went back to the lab to find out which room I was in, but neglected to lock the wheels - so when she returned, I was in a completely different spot from where I began. Many innocent doors were attacked on the way back, to say the least and I was of course mindful to keep my hands and arms inside the cart at all times.
When I arrived back in the room, I was greeted by my sister who had decided to show up to see if a tragedy had occured. To her utter disappointment I could still breathe and wasn't even drooling on myself (big girl!!!) To keep herself amused since I wasn't very exciting, she fished another gown out of the cabinet and had my father walk her up and down the halls, muttering "Daddy,it huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurts" while he pretended to steady her arm and calmly reassured her that she was going to make it!
I amused myself by watching the television for a few moments, even though I can't even tell you what was on. My mom just looked happy to have the door to the room open since my father had been amusing himself by closing the door everytime someone left it open (just to drive my mother crazy). My dad and sister returned, looking extremely suspicious. Courtney took up residence in the chair by the window, but instead of facing us, she turned around and faced out and waved at people as they passed. A few people waved back, and a confused doctor even stopped to ask what she was doing and asked her why she was wearing a hospital gown. (She offered up the great answer of "Because") Occasionally she'd sip from a juice box that I don't remember seeing before - oddly enough though my dad's coat looked a bit puffier than before. (and where did he get a ham sandwich from in the ER?)
After a time, Courtney's fiance came to visit and asked my sister why she was wearing a hospital gown, and why did it have to match mine?? Her only answer, "I can SO rock this gown" (aw crud, I didn't know there would be an "evening gown" competition)
What seemed like years later, and at least 10 juice boxes passed. the doctor returned and told me I could go home and he prescribed antacids and heartburn pills. Thank you good doctor. I am SO GLAD that I spent hours for you to help me out with your miracle cures and voodoo magick.

I still feel like crud, but I am always amused.

Why Jenny, why?

2005-12-02T14:46:00.000-08:00

Apparently since I have run out of books, out of movies and out of crafts to amuse myself while I have the plague, I am supposed to begin this "blog". For some strange reason, Jenny believes it will entertain all the little children of the world and give me something to occupy my somewhat addled brain. I tell you there isn't enough coffee or alcohol in the world sometimes, and by god am I sleepy. Amused?